Her Pee Smells Like Grapefruit

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Gwyneth Paltrow has released another of her insufferable GOOP newsletters, this one detailing the three week juice diet she recently put herself on as a way of making herself even more obnoxious than before.

"As I write this, I am finishing the amazing three-week-long “Clean” detox program detailed below," Paltrow writes. "Designed by New York cardiologist and detoxification specialist Dr. Alejandro Junger, this program allowed me to work and exercise regularly, something I cannot do if I am on a liquid-only detox.

"I followed it to the letter and I can report that it worked wonders. I feel pure and happy and much lighter (I dropped the extra pounds that I had gained during a majorly fun and delicious “relax and enjoy life phase” about a month ago). I also really enjoyed learning about the incredible health benefits of resting your digestive system, etc. This thing is amazing."

And how much did this shady-sounding Junger clown pay you to write this Gwyneth? Oh, that's right, you're too pure and good to take money in exchange for a "newsletter" that's actually an endorsement. What a fraud.

2 comments:

Chris Martin said...

Jesus woman, stop bloody embarrassing me with this newsletter. Can't believe I married somebody who'd talk about this in print. Thought you were supposed to be superior to the rest of the wankers in the US. I mean, that's what you always told me, anyways. Bloody LIAR.

Sass said...

What extra pound bitch?! if you barely eat.. if eating green leafs is eating that is...