Why Am I Not Bothered By This?

The death of Michael Jackson has affected a lot of people in a lot of different ways, but it's definitely hit home the hardest amongst his most diehard fans, some whom have been demonstrating their undying devotion by, um, dying.

That's right, dying. On purpose. 12 of them so far, according to Gary Taylor, president of the world's biggest Michael Jackson fan-club.

"It is a serious situation that these people are going through but Michael Jackson would never want this," Taylor said of the self-snuffers. "He would want them to live."

Or, at the very least, try to buy as much of his shit as possible before sealing up the garage and turning on the engine.

The natural reaction here is to call these people crazy, and weep and wail about what a shame it is that they have so little to live for, but I don't really see anything here to feel bad about. All I see is 12 fewer useless, pathetic dipshits.

If celebrities dying is what it takes for humanity to drop this deadweight, then I say, let's kill some more celebrities. And shut down the suicide hotlines. And start handing out razor blades and bottles of pills on streetcorners. We've gotta thin the herd somehow people.