Shitfaced

Posh and Becks have a secret treatment for battling facial blemishes - bird shit. Victoria discovered the paste, derived from nightingale poo, while in Japan, and began using it to combat her famous acne - and somewhere along the line David tried it too and decided he liked it. Bird shit does have its limits though. It can't wipe the permanently sour expression off your face nor can it cure you of a homosexual fixation on Tom Cruise.