I'm in a pickle friends. On the one hand, my love of celebrity misery makes me want very badly to have Barack Obama lose and all his Hollywood supporters become blubbering wrecks screaming about how they're going to move to Belize (of course they never make good on their promise). On the other hand, I honestly believe a Sarah Palin vice presidency would move us one giant step closer to America becoming some kind of nightmare religio-fascist dystopia where crazies and homopeople will be electro-shocked into submission if not outright burned at the stake. So whom do I root for? Juggy and his empty hopeful rhetoric or Crip-Arms and his manufactured maverickism? God damn it why does life have to be so complicated?