Never Had a Shot

The pundits all had us believing Barack Obama might actually consider choosing Hillary Clinton as his running mate. Turns out that was bunk. Not only did Hillary not make Obama's short-list, she was never even seriously considered. "She was never vetted," said a party official. "She was not asked for a single piece of paper. She and Senator Obama have never had a single conversation about it. How would he know if she’d take it?"

What scared Obama away from Hillary? Just her general heinousness or all the skeletons in her closet? The Vince Foster murder and Whitewater and all the other shady business deals. Had they vetted her, they would've doubtless discovered all sorts of other stuff too. So they didn't bother. No one wants a buck-toothed crook as a running mate.