Jessica Alba as Charlie Chaplin

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Things Crabbie is sick of: photoshoots where dimbulb celebs of the present pose as iconic cultural figures of the past.

Jessica Alba as Charlie Chaplin? Are you kidding me? What the fuck is next? Paris Hilton as Buster Keaton? Kim Kardashian as Harold Lloyd? Britney Spears as Fatty Arbuckle?

Ok...Britney as Arbuckle would be pretty funny. But come on. Alba as Chaplin? What an insult to Chaplin. A God of the cinema portrayed by a two-bit hussy who could get acted off the screen by a turnip. Chaplin wouldn't have let her shine his shoes, much less be in a movie with him. He would've fucked her of course...but no way would he have acted with her.

5 comments:

Constant Drama said...

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

Is this supposed to be clever? What an insult. And Charlie wouldnt have fucked her. He was into younger women rmrb? Teenagers. He was freaky that way but in any event, that whore Alba is too old for him.

God I hate these people.

dirtydisher said...

Nail on the head, crab. Alba is so NOTHING.

Anonymous said...

Fuckin' UGH.

Alba, you're such a goddamn tool. Everyone laughed at the self-centered puffery of Lindsay's Marilyn Monroe pictures, but this is too grotesque to even giggle at ironically for a few minutes. Fuck you.

That guy could convey emotions using nothing but body language. You can't even do it using regular language. FUCK. YOU.

Devin said...

Standard Hollywood the term originality is as obscure as some of these peoples talent.

misstiajournal said...

no, chaplin would not have fucked her, as constant drama says she is too old (though he did have affairs with older women) and she is not attractive enough.....

poor charlie is looking down shaking his head over this one....