Heather Mills believes she is an authority on healthy living...and to prove it she is writing a manual.
The 64-page book, entitled Get Healthy With Heather, will outline for gullible consumers the steps to living a stress-free life.
“Spring is in the air and this is a time for change, regeneration and new beginnings," Heather writes. "We all know sometimes that life’s problems can be quite overwhelming so it’s really important we learn to relax properly and iron out those everyday stresses and strains.”
Step 1: Make a lot of money by marrying a famous man then divorcing him.
Step 2: Gain fame by marrying a famous man then divorcing him.
Step 3: Foster positive public image by lending support to causes one doesn't really give a flying fuck about (landmine victims; animal rights).
Step 4: Celebrate new, stress-free life with dog-murdering fireworks.
Step 5: Enjoy oneself by acting like a gibbering, paranoid maniac on television.
Step 6: Take out any remaining frustration by dumping water over head of famous ex-husband's lawyer during divorce proceedings.
Unfortunately, Heather forgot to follow the most important advice: Stay out of the path of runaway police motorcycles.
Stupid thieving twat-faced gimp.
Heather Mills Releasing Healthy Living Manual
Monday, May 19, 2008
Posted by Crabbie at 11:13 AM
Labels: Heather Mills
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3 comments:
Although it kills me to do so, she must be congratulated for confining her air-headed thoughts on any topic to only 64 pages - she could have blathered on with a lot of nonsense for 400 pages, as a lot of self-important celebrities do. The only question is, who publishes 64-page books besides Dr. Seuss?
Time to put her down and turn her into meat and bone meal.
That stuff is as good as brown coal for heating. So she would be usefull at least once.
As much as I dislike Heather, I love having her stick it to paul and his smug pieces of shit daughters Stella and Mary. Dirty old man deserves what he got a stupid harpie for a wife and the loss of 48 million dollars.
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