Everything I read about Andrew Morton's tell-tall Tom Cruise book said it was boring and there was nothing really shocking or revelatory in it. Okay, fine...but are there at least some juicy rumors for all the Tom Cruise-haters to throw up in the faces of his (dwindling number of) acolytes? According to an account in the Daily Mail, there are. My favorite is definitely this one: That Suri Cruise was conceived using the frozen sperm of Scientology founder/sci-fi hack L. Ron Hubbard.
How dare they defame the sperm of L. Ron Hubbard?
According to Morton, the Suri/Hubbard rumor actually got started within the so-called Sea Org, which is made up of the most fanatical Scientology devotees. Members of the Sea Org actually live in a compound with Scientology head David Miscavige, a compound allegedly guarded by security cameras and snipers. One job of some Sea Org members, according to Morton, is following this Miscavige character around everywhere and taping everything he says, just in case something profound comes out of his mouth.
Morton also says that Miscavige accompanied Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on their honeymoon. And that Cruise works closely with Miscavige on projects like bringing Scientology to Germany and Latin America. In fact, after breaking up with Nicole Kidman, Cruise allegedly started going out with Latina actresses like Penelope Cruz and Sofia Vergara in hopes of marrying one of them, hence giving him and Scientology a higher profile in Central America. Vergara has allegedly said that her dates with Cruise felt like "auditions" for the role of his wife. Also, Morton claims that Penelope Cruz's father was so worried about his daughter becoming brainwashed by Scientology that he consulted professional cult de-programmers.
Then there's Morton's dirt on Cruise's relationship with Nicole Kidman. The author claims that Kidman and Cruise were initially encouraged to get together by Scientology, and that Miscavige tried to help the courtship by having his minions plant a field of wildflowers so Cruise and Kidman could run through it in consummation of some weird fantasy of theirs (Miscavige was so involved in this project that he used to drive past the field every few hours to see how things were going). Later on, however, Kidman became disillusioned with the cult, and was branded a "Potential Trouble Source" who could potentially ween Cruise away from his faith (Kidman wasn't helped by the fact that her father is a psychologist). To alleviate Cruise's Kidman-inspired doubts, the actor was allegedly put through some kind of course that encouraged a paranoid fear of her, ultimately leading to their divorce. Still not satisfied that they had the actress out of their hair, the Scientologist goons threatened to blackmail Kidman using a taped confession she'd made early in her involvement with the cult, in which she revealed her most intimate sex secrets. Apparently, all budding Scientologists are "audited" in this way - ostensibly as a means of cleansing them, but actually because such tapes come in handy if you need leverage against someone later on. Morton quotes L. Ron Hubbard's own estranged son Ronald De Wolf, who once told Playboy:
You have complete control of someone if you have every detail of his sex life and fantasy life on record. In Scientology the focus is on sex. Sex, sex, sex.
The first thing we wanted to know about someone we were auditing was his sexual deviations. All you've got to do is find a person's kinks, whatever they might be.Their dreams and their fantasies. Then you can fit a ring through their noses and take them anywhere. You promise to fulfil their fantasies or you threaten to expose them.
Naturally Cruise is denying all this through his lawyers, and so are Scientology officials, one of whom said:
We tried to contact [Morton] to co-operate, to give him the truth, to give him a tour. I received nothing.
This was a pre-ordained mission to trash Tom Cruise. He didn't ask to speak to David Miscavige and wrote some horrible things about him which are totally untrue.
It may be untrue, but it's damn hilarious.