We may have seen the last of veiny, Iggy Pop-looking Madonna - and we have Guy Ritchie to thank for it.
Yes, it appears Ritchie is not merely Madonna's personal lap-dog after all. According to reports, Ritchie finally got sick of having sex with a skin-covered skeleton, and told his creepy wife to put some weight on. Madonna then consulted her personal fitness guru, Sting's wife, and was told to add a porridge breakfast to her strict macrobiotic diet. A source reports:
[Madonna] used to start the day with a miso soup and a fruit smoothie but found porridge improved her skin and keeps her full for longer. She eats it after her daily exercise regime. But she has also been cutting back on the gym and weights, in favour of Pilates, which is why her arms look less sinewy.
What kind of fucking breakfast is miso soup (whatever the fuck that is) and a fruit smoothie? Hasn't this bitch ever heard of Rice Krispies? And what the hell does she think she's going to get out of macrobiotic whateverthefuck and Pilates and all that shit anyway? Does she honestly expect us to believe living like that makes her feel better? Bullshit. Scarfing gallons of ice cream - that's what makes you feel better. Chomping down cookies until your apartment floor looks like there was an explosion at a Chips Ahoy factory - that's what gives you a sense of well-being. Healthy living is for suckers, and self-deluded people who think they're going to forestall their arrival at the Pearly Gates.
Sorry Maddona, but even curd-eating yoga-freaks die. Those people just die miserable because their last meal was soy-based, instead of the nice, big, juicy steak they really wished for.
(source)
11 comments:
It probably took some doing for for him to grow a pair and confront that controlling bitch. It took a lot of repressing his lack of sexual interest and gag reflex.
I always think of Jim Fixx, the guy that wrote the book that inspired everyone to take up jogging "Running"...he fell dead of a heart attack in his early 40's. Don't think that guy didn't work out! He fell over dead while running one day. That was enough to convince me that that much exercise WILL kill you!
Soy also causes a LOT of gas.
Right on the money, as usual!
I like to exercise. I also like to eat "some chicken, some roast beef and a pizza."
You know she must feel like hell warmed over all the time. No wonder she's such a bitch. She's freakin' starving.
CONGRATS MADONNA ON BEING INDUCTED INTO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME, AN HONOR YOU MORE THAN DESERVE. ICONS LIKE YOU FREQUENTLY SPARK THE RAGE OF NOBODYS LIKE CRABBY AND HIS READERS HERE, BUT IF YOU EVER FIND YOURSELF NEAR OUR 7/11 BE SURE AND STOP BY. WE'LL MAKE YOU A MISO SLURPPIE ON THE HOUSE. WE ADORE YOU MADONNA !!!
^ Crabbie's rage? I think you over estimate the emotional intensity here. What kind of nobody are YOU?
heheh. miso slurpie.
Oh dear God...the 7/11 moron is back. I was hoping he had been taken out in a gas station robbery, but no such luck. God help you all from here on out. Maybe if no one comments for a while he'll think we all went away and look for victims elsewhere. Fingers crossed!!Fucking asswipe.
"Healthy living is for suckers"... What king of ignorant and mean person are you ? And you don't even know what a miso soup is. Sad.
That was mean.
Post a Comment