Troubled professional photographic subject Britney Spears will try anything to get her life straightened out - including undergoing a cleansing ritual by a Native American healer at the base of the Grand Canyon. No, this is not Crabbie trying to be cute - Britney has actually set this thing up. A source said:
The head shaman has agreed to perform the ritual on Britney, which is a great honour.
The shaman will wave sage over her head and daub her temples with a magical potion. And the learned Indians will chant mantra and perform a special dance around her.
And then they'll all take mushrooms and ride donkeys up the canyon, and Britney will pay the shaman with cigarettes? And then Lee Van Cleef will come out of the desert and challenge Britney to a showdown at high noon?
Of course this is all sounds daffy - and well it should, considering that Britney got the idea from Owen Wilson, who's so crazy he recently tried to off himself. Then again, maybe it's not so crazy - I mean, nothing else has worked, so what the hell? Might as well give dopey mysticism a try. I just hope Britney has the sense to wear underwear, and stop chomping her gum as the shaman is waving his magic herbs or whatever the fuck over her head. Five bucks says the stupid bitch starts giggling and the shaman gets offended and puts some kind of curse on her instead. "May you spend the rest of your days smelling like the vagina of a dirty old woman, and have your children taken from you and be doomed to mockery and ridicule from all in the world." Uh...too late Geronimo.