You can forget about those rumors of Jennifer Aniston bagging Orlando Bloom at a mutual friend's wedding in Cabo - that was apparently all just bullshit. Aniston, as far as we know, is still single and hopeless, while Orlando has moved on to someone a bit higher up the babe food-chain - supermodel Miranda Kerr.
According to Sydney's Daily Telegraph, Bloom and Kerr were recently seen apartment hunting in New York. Of course Bloom denied it to the paper, saying:
What? Are you kidding me? No, that’s not right, never… No, it’s not true.
Right Orlando - you're not shagging the gorgeous model. And Aniston's not destined to end up a lonely spinster who spends her days drying wild-flowers and playing video poker. Why don't you just admit you're all over the world-class piece of ass Orlando? Are you afraid people will think you're straight?
And as for Jen...what can anyone really say at this point? Men flee her presence - just like rats escaping a fire. She must reek of desperation at this point. Seriously - I think it's time for Jen to lower her sights. Forget about trying to nail some hunk like Orlando and just go for her plumber, or the UPS man maybe. Or just drive up and down the freeway looking for one-armed hitchhikers. Anything, as long as it has a dick and no standards.