No Rehab For Degenerate Skanks

Friday, September 21, 2007


Lindsay Lohan has apparently stolen some dude away from his wife while in rehab. The guy, Tony Allen of some band called Dead Stays Alive, has allegedly been getting busy with Lohan in bathrooms and such - and now this has gotten back to the guy's wife, a British heiress named Stephanie Allen. Reports MSNBC:

A friend of Tony’s wife spoke to the Mirror about her pal’s devastation. “She has had it, period. They tried forever to have kids. She went through IVF three times and suffered two miscarriages, and when they finally got two beautiful babies, he hooks up in rehab with a girl half his age. All Stephanie wanted was for him to be a good husband and father.”

Oh, Steph - he's a rock and roller, don't you know that type? I mean shit, it's one thing to be attracted to some dude cause he's dangerous and stuff, quite another to be naive and silly enough to think you can make him settle down and become "a good husband and father." He wouldn't even quit dope for you Steph - he had to go to rehab to get his shit straightened out. And you're surprised he'd fuck around? You ain't gonna be bringing the potato salad to the MENSA picnic any time soon, are you Steph?

As for that little slut Lohan - well, what do you expect? She can't do drugs anymore so she's gotta replace that with something. Her old man tried to get her to accept Jesus into her life, but for some reason that didn't take. And knitting doesn't really seem Lohan's speed. So that leaves sex. Lots of sex. And where better to meet hot, messed-up rocker dudes than in rehab? Shit, Lohan's in hog-heaven there - except for the no-drugs thing.

(source)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh Crabbie!!

No drugs?! Do you reeeeeally think hardcore LaLohan is drug-free merely because she's in "rehab?" C'mon....

In every single photo that's been released since she's been at Cirque (particularly the early ones) she's looked WAYYY too 'pulled together' to be dealing with the day-to-day torment/s of truly "getting clean", especially considering the extent of her multiple addictions.

Girlfriend's still using drugs and/or alcohol. I'd bet money on it.

Anonymous said...

I hope the wife kicks his sorry ass out and leaves him with nothing but some toxic form of STD courtesy of crusty Lohan.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* Yet another story where I hate every single motherfucker involved. I don't like reading this shit anymore.

Anyway, I'm with Crabs. Hard to take pity on those women who actively pursue musicians and then become shocked -- SHOCKED! -- when they start fucking around. What the hell did you expect? If you're ordering fucking Arby's for lunch, don't be surprised when they don't stuff that shit with filet mignon, dumbass.

That being said, the dude and Lindsay deserve each oher and their cozy four-bedroom condo in hell.