Angelina's Frustration

Saturday, September 22, 2007


Angelina Jolie is said to be frustrated that her efforts to save the world don't seem to be working out as well as she'd hoped. A source told The Daily Mail:

Angelina feels she is barely making a dent in the suffering she sees throughout the Third World as she travels incognito to different countries as a United Nations representative.

She wants to step up her action in what she calls Red Alert areas, the most seriously troubled, war-torn areas in the world.

She's in talks to go into Burma and help with students and AIDS victims who are suffering terribly.

But Angie is not only going to Burma to talk to students and AIDS victims - she's also reportedly negotiating to visit an orphanage there, and you know what that means. Yup. Adopted kid number four. But not the expected African playmate for Zahara - unless Burma has moved since I last looked at an atlas.

All right, so Angie's upset that the world isn't falling into line with her master-plan. That seems pretty typical to me - spoiled-brat narcissist shit thinks she can heal humanity's long-festering wounds, then gets angry when everyone doesn't stop their wars and corruption and corporate exploitation just cause she says so. So now she's going to hit some "Red Alert" areas...as she calls them. My God, I bet she has a big map too with thumbtacks in it - red ones for the bad countries, yellow ones for the okay countries and green ones for the good countries. Of course Angie only adopts kids from the red thumbtack countries. The green ones like America are full of blobs and other people who aren't worthy to even be in her presence. It never fails to amaze me, the self-importance of this woman. I mean, yes, being charitable is great, especially when you're rich. And I'm sure Angie probably has done some good at some point along the way. But getting frustrated and mad because the world isn't changing fast enough for you? Fuck sake Jolie, people have been killing and raping and fucking each other over for thousands of years - and you expect all that to end just because you're there? All the prophets and thinkers and wise folk who've inhabited the earth over the centuries couldn't do a damn thing to improve the human condition, and you think you should just be able to throw on some native garb and spout a couple actress-tears and - voila! - everybody's supposed to hold hands and sing songs? That's not just run-of-the-mill egomania kids - that's a sickness. This bitch makes Britney look stable by comparison.

(source)

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Crabbie? Is that you? That was a brilliant rant. I love when you cut loose like that.

BBABH

Anonymous said...

Crabbie, you are the best! I have completely run out of things to comment on when it comes to her mental illness issues.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I think you were too easy on her.

Anonymous said...

Crabbie, I love your rants too, but PLEASE go back to English 101. Those paragraphs are TOO long and it's overwhelming. Break them up into six or so sentences, and your readers will be much more likely to read and enjoy. Thanks! (Oh, and for those who will tell me to go to hell, Crabbie is funny, this isn't college, blah blah, fucking blah...IT'S a tip to incease his readership, so FUCK off..

Anonymous said...

Oh, and BTW, I'm 9:04 and I fucking HATE Jolie. She's a scummy bitch, but it gets old pointing that out.

Anonymous said...

Angelina doesn't do a damn bit of good anywhere in the world. She has a God complex and thinks that by merely showing up somewhere people will be magically transported to prosperity, just by the mere sight of her bony ass.

If she really wants to do some good, she ought to start donating vast sums of her personal wealth to some of these impoverished places she visits.

Anonymous said...

Her so-called beauty has been hyped to the point that she believes just her presence will make the world become a better place.

Anonymous said...

Her adoption of Asian children has to do with the fact that she is still in love with Jenny Shimizu.

Jennifer said...

A*fucking*MEN! Britney behaves with much more authenticity. At least I know where Britney is coming from. Angelina scares the hell out of me. She's some sort of evil succubus. Look how she's drained the light out of Brad's eyes!

Anonymous said...

I hear she might adopt again, I guess shes getting bored with the 4 she has...

Anonymous said...

Anything to keep her lame ass in the news.