It wasn't bad enough that hetero men had to start being present in the delivery room to share the "joys of birth" - now the fuckers have to butt in on that other formerly sacred bastion of chickery, the baby shower.
Not that Liev Schreiber ever struck me as the most masculine of men in the first place - there's always seemed something a tad prissy and simpering about him. Still, I never thought of Schreiber as being a total girly-man - the kind of dude who would choose to spend his day going ga-ga over breast-pumps and booties and Spongebob onesies when he could be at a ballgame swilling beer. Apparently I was wrong. Evidently, Schreiber is that much of a puss - because when his pregnant non-wife Naomi Watts had her pals over for a baby shower this weekend, old Liev was right there next to her on the couch.
I have a question: How mortified was Naomi when Liev told her he wanted to be at her baby shower? I'm starting to think there's a reason Naomi hasn't consented to marrying this dude yet - it's because she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life having to do small home repairs and squash spiders in the bathtub herself.
"The lightbulb's burnt out in the laundry room Liev dear. Could you change it for me?"
"I would hon, but you know how afraid I am of the small step-ladder ever since it pinched my finger that time. Plus I just had my facial and I don't want to move for at least fifteen more minutes..."
This merely reinforces Crabbie's instinct about Liev - that he's the woman in that relationship. When Naomi's done popping out this kid, Liev's going to be at home changing diapers and ironing and watching soaps while she's out earning a living. Yes, I realize these comments make Crabbie seem like a relic from the fifties who completely missed out on that whole sexual revolution thing, but I don't give a fuck. I'm a limp-wristed homo, and I think I could probably kick Liev Schreiber's ass - and that makes me sad.