Jessica Simpson tends to overachieve when it comes to her boyfriends. Nick Lachey? John Mayer? Both were probably a notch or two above her on whatever scale we use to measure such things. So, it probably shouldn't be a surprise that newly-single Jessica is reaching for the stars again man-wise. This time, however, her target may be completely out of her range.
Jessica Simpson - don't snicker now - is smitten with Jude Law.
That's the very Jude Law, readers of this and other fine blogs know, who dissed Jessica last week at a Cannes Film Festival party. "What's she doing here?" Jude was heard to disdainfully utter upon spotting Jessica in the crowd.
Apparently, Jude, she was looking for you. And this is no little puppy-dog crush either. Jessica is serious. Said Jessica after encountering her dream man:
Jude's lovely - it was the first time I'd met him and he was very charming. I love the way he talks. His British accent and the way it makes him move his mouth are such a turn-on.
Jude, you dirty-dog. You did try to hit on her, just as I suggested when I blogged on your diss of her the other day. You charmed her with your accent and the way you move your mouth. Oh, but a few minutes before that you were wondering what someone of her ilk would be doing in such an inappropriate place. Jessica Simpson? Shouldn't she be slopping hogs or milking cows or walking around barefoot and knocked-up?
You really are a shameless creature, aren't you Jude? Bemoaning Jessica's presence one minute, putting the moves on her the next. Of course, we know you're not serious about her. All you want is one romp with her, just to see what those tits feel like with your face buried in them. It's not even attraction - it's just idle curiosity. "Well that was pleasant." And then she's dog-meat again, right you womanizing sociopathic greaseball?