Jessica Simpson was in Germany this weekend participating in a UNESCO charity gala. Of course, these sorts of events always try to attract the biggest stars they can, for publicity purposes. And, to help insure that more stars will want to show up in the future, it's necessary to give out awards and commendations to these people, and stoke their little self-satisfied image of themselves. To that end, the UNESCO folks bestowed upon Jessica the above award, which looks like something I once scraped out of the back of my freezer (I was pretty sure it was dead, but just to be sure, I smashed it flat with a rolled-up copy of Vanity Fair). They also gave her a certificate recognizing her humanitarian work and conferring upon her the title "Patron For Tolerance." I personally had no idea that Jessica was such a world-renowned philanthropist. Yes, she did give that mini-van to those Mexican orphans - a mini-van she received for free, if I'm not mistaken, and took to Mexico herself so she could have her picture taken with the poor little wretches she was helping. I guess that's all it takes to be considered a great humanitarian by the U.N. That and a gigantic rack.
(By the way, nice senorita get-up Jessica. Last week she wanted to be black, this week Spanish - basically, Jessica's life is one huge game of ethnic-wannabe roulette.)
Sunday, May 13, 2007