Airheaded cum-bucket Paris Hilton is reportedly anxiety-ridden at the prospect of being chucked in the slammer over violating her probation. Here's what a source told Britain's More magazine about Paris's angst:
Paris says if she goes to jail, even for just a day, her life will be over. She knows she'll lose a lot of work if she gets a reputation as someone who has done time. Her whole career is based on her image and maintaining a fan base - she has nothing else to rely on. She's petrified. ... She's the butt of quite a few jokes in Los Angeles these days and she hates it. She's been crying a lot, especially when she's been drinking, and is scared that her life is falling apart. ... She's missed two club appearances in the past couple of weeks. People in the industry are taking her less seriously and she doesn't feel like she's Hollywood's Golden Girl any more. ... She's more alone than ever before right now and this could be one situation she can't charm her way out of.
Oh, how Crabbie would love to believe even a word of that. The image of Paris Hilton trying to drink away her distress, crying, shivering with fear at the prospect of her life being ruined - it would be so, so beautiful. Unfortunately, Crabbie did not just fall off the turnip truck yesterday, nor even the day before. There is no way - no way - Paris Hilton is experiencing even the slightest shred of nervousness over the possibility of doing time. She knows good-and-well that she will never see the inside of a cell. And even if, by some bizarre twist, she did end up incarcerated, what difference would it actually make to her "image?" How can something so manufactured and fake possibly be tarnished? She serves a couple weeks in the slammer, her publicists spin it as her triumph over adversity, she goes on Oprah and spouts a few fake tears, there's a reality show, she spends her new-found riches on even more contacts and push-up bras and hair-extensions. It's Paris Hilton - nothing about her is real. So why should the "reality" of going to jail faze her?