Former pop star Britney Spears is denying reports that she underwent liposuction in Las Vegas recently.
According to the allegedly false story, Britney visited a Vegas specialist who employs a special technique whereby fat is dissolved through a series of injections. This is much less invasive than the normal lipo procedure, which involves sucking fat people's guts out with a Hoover. An even less invasive procedure involves not stuffing one's face with gobs of fattening food and chasing it with booze and pills, and perhaps even exercising occasionally, but Britney decided to go with the injections. Allegedly.
I have to give Britney credit - at least she's trying to get her shit together. Getting her teeth whitened, having lipo - these are all steps in the right direction. Now all she needs is to grow her hair back, get those awful tattoos sand-blasted off, figure out some way of reversing the effects of years of bad living on her skin and organs, and have someone invent a device which will erase everyone's memories of the last few years, making everyone think that it's 2003 and she is still hot.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007