A story circulated widely last week about Britney Spears's bizarre behavior at the Mondrian Hotel in L.A. the day after her infamous head-shaving. The story said that Britney appeared there suddenly and tried booking a room but had no credit cards, then prevailed upon a couple of kindly tourists to buy her a bathing suit in a gift shop and proceeded to shave her legs in the hotel swimming pool. Now, a different version of this story has surfaced. In this new permutation, Britney made friends with a pair of girls in a bathroom of the Mondrian, where she was shaving her legs and complaining about not being able to get a room. One of the girls lent her a bikini so she could go to the pool with them; she donned the bathing suit in the girl's room, then raided her mini-bar before proceeding to the pool, where she and her new friends continued drinking.
And, thanks to Crabbie, there is now a third version of this story. In this one, Britney was dropped off at the Mondrian by a leather-clad post-Apocalyptic biker. She strode into the lobby, dressed in assless pants, and asked to have a room. Upon being informed that she would have to put assed pants on before being checked-in, Britney began screaming and crying. Two kindly Romanians took pity on her, and brought her to their room where they proceeded to strip all her clothes off, oil her up, and begin performing some kind of bizarre gypsy purification ritual. This was weird even for Britney so she ran for it. She found herself butt-naked and oiled at the pool, and asked a girl if she could borrow a bathing suit. The girl agreed. The two then spent the rest of the afternoon cavorting in the pool, in slow-motion, their flesh pink and wet and enticing. The girl told Britney her name was Millicent. They went to Millie's room afterward and became sisters, cutting their hands and licking the blood from each other's palms. Then what? I don't know, maybe they decided to go have a steak. Millie finally pulled a knife on Britney and robbed her. I knew that bitch was trouble from the start.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007