Paris Hilton is moving up in the world. Soon, she may actually be known for something other than having her picture taken, and appearing on a dumb reality show. She may soon be known worldwide as the Queen of the Waltz.
All right, so that's a bit of an exaggeration. Probably, Paris will never feel motivated to actually learn how to dance a waltz at above an amateur level. Any dance that doesn't involve a pole is not really up Paris's alley. Nevertheless, Paris will soon be dancing waltzes at the Vienna Opera Ball with Richard Lugner, a 74-year-old entrepreneur. Which is all Richard's idea. Apparently, Richard has an interesting sense of humor. Either that or he's looking to get laid.
And just who is this Richard Lugner, Paris's soon-to-be waltzing partner? He's a man who made a fortune in construction, and has now become a luminary in Austrian society. And, it turns out, he's well-known for inviting famous women to dance with him at the annual Vienna Opera Ball, the social season's biggest event. In the past his partners have included Pamela Anderson, Sophia Loren, Ginger Spice and Fergie the Duchess of York. So, inviting Paris is not really so much of a stretch (although, if you ask Crabbie, it's quite a step down from Sophia Loren to Fergie, Pam, Ginger and Paris).
But of course the big question is this: Does Paris even know how to dance a waltz? Has she even heard of a waltz? Does she even know there's a country called Austria? None of this really matters according to Mr. Lugner, who says, "If a man is a good leader on the dance floor, a woman is capable of everything." Oh - a patriarchalist, eh? Well, good luck Mr. Lugner. Here's hoping Paris doesn't vomit on you, or crush your delicate aristocratic hand with one of those giant veiny mitts of hers.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007