It's no secret that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a fondness for shitholes. African, Asian, it doesn't matter to those two. As long as a place is in some kind of dire economic situation, or has a lot of orphans or otherwise down-trodden people living there, Brad and Angie are all over it.
Of course, not all messed-up places are in the Third World. Right here in America we have a few. The South Bronx, for example. And just about any Indian reservation you care to visit (those casinos are putting a lot of money in somebody's pocket, but it ain't your average rug-weaving Navajo, I can tell you that). And of course we have New Orleans, the poster-city for American misery. In the wake of Katrina, The Big Easy is about as close to a bona fide shithole as you're going to find inside the borders of the U.S. (with the possible exception of Phoenix). And that being the case, it was only a matter of time before Brad and Angie, the benevolent twosome, decided to take up residence there.
New Orleans, it would seem, is perfect for Pitt and Jolie. It's got lots of poor people for them to care deeply about, and lots of projects to become involved in. And yet it's inside America, which means you're closer to world-class health-care, and there's much less danger of getting caught in the middle of some kind of Civil War or other violent conflict (at least nothing worse than a shoot-out at a liquor store). Reportedly, the couple has already purchased a big old house in the French Quarter (there's probably lots of bougainvillea and branches draped with Spanish moss). And Angie has already been hanging out in the neighborhood, making friends. “She’s interested in befriending normal moms so she can do things with the kids," a source told US Weekly. So Angelina is lowering herself to mix with the rabble. But of course it's not all about socializing. “Angelina has asked for places she can do charity work,” says the source, who also reports that Jolie is looking into starting a school for disadvantaged youth. And the couple is hoping to, generally, "raise awareness" about the post-Katrina situation by their presence there. "They think it is important to be there right now," says the source.
Wow. That's huge of Brad and Angie. Raising awareness about the plight of New Orleans after Katrina. Because I hadn't heard a damn thing about it until these two got on-board. Now, all the big-time reporters like Brian Williams and Anderson Cooper are sure to go down there. Thank you Brad and Angie, for bringing this horrible situation to light. Now, I hope that you can go out and raise awareness about other things, like how shitty it is to get cancer, or what a fuckbag George Bush is.
Are these two for real? "They think it is important to be there right now." And what would happen if they weren't there? People would be wandering around not knowing what to do? "Oh, I wish Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would come to our city and show us how to rebuild." These people are over-the-rainbow nuts. At least Angie is. Brad, I'm starting to suspect, is just going along for the nookie. No doubt, Angelina is some primo ass. World-class probably. But even a chick as hot for it as she is can't be that spectacular. She's certainly not worth throwing your entire life away on. Giving up the Hollywood high-life to turn into some half-assed Albert Schweitzer. I'm guessing that Brad's patience is going to wear thin at some point, and old Jennifer's going to be seeing a familiar number show up on her caller ID. At this point, going back to Aniston might be the sanest thing Pitt could do.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007