You are now gazing upon one of the rarest sights in nature - the endangered plastic-nosed white fug-rhino coming to the sea to bathe. It is the mating season now, as you can tell by the pronounced swelling of the mammaries and the tell-tale patchy spot under the armpit. Soon the bitch fug-rhino will be beset by a whole hoard of males, who will begin lounging on the sand, and performing their elaborate mating dance. I believe I see one of them now...
Much of the male fug-rhino's mating dance consists of appearing to be passed out, with intermittent instances of what looks like violent coughing:
During these seizure-like coughing fits, the male fug-rhino actually emits a powerful odor, which is said to smell much like the toilet at a Mexican restaurant. The odor attracts the females, who watch the males carefully to see which performs the ritual with the most enthusiasm. The winning male then picks the female up in his jaws and carries her to a bus kiosk where they engage in clumsy sex, winding up with cigarette butts stuck to their sweaty skin, and if they're lucky, only a mild form of venereal disease.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007