Paris Hilton Has Standards. Allegedly.

A couple days ago, the Billboard Music Awards were shaping up to be quite an event, what with the announcement that superstar pals Britney Spears and Paris Hilton would be co-hosting the program. Then of course Britney dropped out of the event - but at least we still have Paris right?

Uh, well, not exactly. You see, Paris decided that the Billboard Music Awards gig wasn't so hot after all, and has pulled out of the event herself.

And what exactly would cause an attention-whore like Paris Hilton to turn down the opportunity to make a fool of herself in front of a semi-national viewing audience? Apparently, bad jokes.

Not bad jokes about Paris, but bad jokes written for Paris, some of which poked fun at friends of hers. And even Paris Hilton has to draw the line at making fun of her friends.

"It is my understanding that some satirical references ridiculed some of her peers," said Paris's personal bullshit-slinger, Elliot Mintz. "Paris did not want to say anything that could appear hurtful or embarrassing about people she knows."

Of course. Because Paris never says bad things about people. Never calls them Firecrotch or accuses them of being coke-heads.

It makes a good story anyway - Paris rejecting the hosting gig because she found the jokes objectionable. Unfortunately I don't buy it. I think Paris's people finally realized the potential for disaster if they actually let the dumb bitch do this, and decided to talk her out of it (the same way Britney's people talked her out of it). Remember Lindsay's problems at the World Music Awards (getting booed, falling down the stairs, quitting halfway through the show)? A sobering lesson for anyone with a vested interest in maintaining the marketability of one of these publicity-magnet bimbos.